I am asked them very nicely to please move all of the "Just for One" and "single packaged servings" off to the side to at least help me save some face. As you can see in the pictures I do have all of the major food groups covered in my diet.
1) Nicotine (once again just a prop kids)
2) Dairy
3) Frozen Pizza
4) grains (alcohol)
5) mold (cottage cheese)
I should clarify that this isn't what my freezer looks like all the time. These items are only around when I am training for an upcoming race. Typically when I am not training you will find things such as fruit, vegetables, chicken etc.....
Well without further ado let's jump to the chaos that was the Moroccan Meatballs and our qualified judges feedback!!!
First things first - I need to get my special cook "juice" ready. Wine to Katia is like gasoline to a car. You aren't going to get a lot out of it without first filling 'er up.
So I have to take one second to brag (because those of you who know me understand how humble I usually am about letting people know how great I am).....out of the million and one spices this recipe called for I had all but two already at home. This is a major accomplishment for me as before I started this journey the only spices in Katia's Kitchen were some sort of lemon pepper spice that had somehow managed to stick in a clump to the side of the jar and a baggie of crushed red pepper that someone had brought over one time when we ordered pizza.
Ok so let's stop for a moment so I can give you some important kitchen advice. Onions, Jalapenos and other items have juices that burn like a mother f-er when they get in your eyes. I would like to say this shot was posed for humor but this is what happens when you rub your eye with onion remnants on your finger. I am thinking of taking a collection to get one of those eye washing machines that they have in chemical labs installed just as a safety precaution moving forward.
After taking 25 mins to chop one medium sized onion and 4 tomatoes (no bullshit - however I was majorly distracted by the circus going on in my living room) it was time to zest the lemon. Judge Simon (aka Tamara) seemed to get a kick out of the fact that I didn't have a cheese grader and at this time was asked to exit the kitchen. You will see in later photos I gave her the largest wine glass I had in an effort to get her get her to a "happy" place and hopefully a little more forgiving on her judging.
Finally (approx 65 mins later) the sauce was done and it was time to shake and bake some balls.
One thing I have always been jealous of when you see cooks on tv is their ability to measure without using actual measuring cups so I decided to try that as well. I also think this is a great way to create less dishes to clean. From this moment on Katia shall swear off all measuring cups and eye ball everything!
Ok mixing the meat together was definitely my least favorite part of this recipe. It reminded me of when I was younger and you would have those activities where there would be something in a dish and you had to touch it but didn't know what it was and they would say it was something like brains or eyeballs. Although I doubt they ever actually used raw meat in that activity as there could probably be a few lawsuits that stemmed from that.
The balls are sculpted and ready to go. The last time I saw this many balls in one place was at a Chippendale show we went to for a bachelorette party. (don't worry dad - I sat in the corner and washed my hands with Purell every 5 minutes. I also went directly to the hospital and got a tetnus booster just for good measure)
Me with my balls after baking them in the oven. Honestly the way these look they reminded me of something disturbing I had recently seen on the Discovery Channel about meat packing plants. The recipe called to only bake them for 6 minutes in the oven which caused my judges a little concern - as me. However, once I read the next paragraph that stated you put them in the boiling sauce for ten minutes we all felt a little better. I know people order steaks raw but I have never heard someone order the spaghetti with meatballs rare (unless they have a death wish). Lesson learned I should probably start by studying the whole recipe ahead of time. As someone who made it through college on Cliff Notes and got a C in History of Rock n Roll (hey it was at 800am on Friday - don't act like you had perfect attendance in college) my studying habits have never been something to write home about. I am sure my dad would also back this up as he has 5 years (ok 5 and 1/2 but I took a semester off!) of loans to prove it. I am sure he feels much better now after reading this blog and seeing where all that well spent money has gone.
Actually they reminded me of a video we saw in 9th grade Sex Education Class (which I believe now they have for 5th graders). That video was the best birth control ever.
Two hours and five minutes later Dinner is served!!!
Let's hear from our Judges!!
Simon (aka Tamara) says.......
***note objects in this picture appear larger than they are. I don't think it is legal to make a wine glass as large as this one looks in the picture! That is like the Big Gulp of wine glasses.
Three words to describe: Too much wine
Favorite Part: The sauce. I love the surprise of cinnamon
Least Favorite Part: A little too much cinnamon
What would you do differently? Maybe brown the meatballs a little before putting them in the oven to give them a little texture.
Out of 5 stars: 4
Comments: Very good meal. It had a lot of spice and flavor. I would make this again. It was healthy and satisfying. Thanks for the wine.
T-Dub
Three words to describe: Tomatoey, "yummy with wine", surprising
Favorite part: Sauce was tasty and provided a good balance of flavor against the turkey meatballs.
Least Favorite: Cinnamon flavor. Although this is apparently "Moroccan" I can't get past the feeling I should be at Cinn-a-bun.
Out of 5 Stars: 3.5
Comments: For 300 calories in a serving this was very tasty and satisfying. For a little more flavor I would prefer ground beef with a bit more spices in the meat - since as a rule I like my meat spicy.
Ry-dog
Ry-dog was not available for comment but I believe the clean plate club picture says it all!
MUFFING THE TINS!!
Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Brownies!!
Well by the time dessert rolled around needless to say Katia was a little under the influence. Which was made obvious when she asked T-Dub to help her in "muffing the tins" which in sober speak translates to.....actually I am not sure. I believe I was asking her to help me line the muffin pan with tins but who knows....
A moment of silence please for the eggs. This is the last picture we have of them in tact. As you can see from the picture I would have never known how unhappy they were. They seem to be playing so nicely with the other ingredients and really look like a true member of the team. The peanut butter is still having a hard time accepting they are gone.
I also feel I should address the brownie mix. I had every intention of making the brownie mix from scratch but honestly I was just too tipsy at this point and the mix looked so much easier.
This was the second time that I had to kick Tamara out of the kitchen. Her exact words "Oh my god you actually own a mixer?" Adios!
Chocolate, cream cheese, and peanut butter - I would take this over a man any day!
Let's hear from our Judges
T-Dub
Three Words to Describe: Moist, Satisfying, "2 in 1"
Favorite Part: The chocolaty, peanut buttery goodness is simply perfection
Least Favorite Part: Nothing
What would you do differently: Serve with Ice cream
Out of 5 Stars: 4.5
Comments: You got your peanut butter in my chocolate and man it's yummy! Thank you, Katia Child
Tamara T
Three Words to Describe: Seriously, OMG
Favorite Part: So good when their warm
Least Favorite: Zero issues with the brownies
What would you do differently: Could use a little vanilla ice cream on the side
Out of 5 stars: 4
Comments: Warm, gooey, chocolaty, peanut butter brownies...yes please!
Well that is it for this week in Katia's Kitchen! It appears the live taping was a hit as we will be having this coming week's recipes prepared and cooked again in front of a live audience. We are moving the taping day to Saturday instead of Sundays going forward to accomodate the mass amounts of wine that are consumed as I need to keep my job and Sunday isn't the best day to inhale three bottles of wine. T-Dub has provided the recipes for next week which will serve as our Christmas taping so check back tonight for those to be posted. And yes I said Christmas and not Holiday. In no way do I mean to disrespect any other religions or non religions or whatever but I am Catholic so Christmas it is. Maybe a 'diluted' version of Catholic...actually let's just say Christian.
Also a HUGE THANK YOU to T-Dub for her fantastic photography. You're hired!
See you next week for a Katia Child Christmas Catastrophe!
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