Who needs culinary school??? Presenting Katia Child's Kitchen Catastrophe's

Join an inexperienced cook with the desire to develop my culinary skills in a journey of of laughs, fires and third degree burns :-)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Which came first - the dumpling or the chicken

I will begin by saying that Ikea is fantastic for furniture, but not cutlery (again with the kitchen lingo - I am on fire). I practically had to saw the knife back and forth like I was cutting down tree to get the dull knife through the carrot. Which I guess could be a good thing in the long run....I would really have to work at it if I was to cut a finger off. At one point the knives were bending as I was cutting which I am pretty sure proves why the Ginsu knife would whip my Ikea knives asses in a fight......



Say Hello to my little friend!



I am a firm believer that a cook must try everything before they serve it. Luckily I read my Salmonella pamphlet prior to beginning this journey and remembered at the last minute to taste the chicken AFTER cooking it and not before.




Organization is key to a successful kitchen. To the naked eye that cabinet may appear slightly disorganized, but I know where everything is and also have found it has helped to quicken my overall reflexes due to the quick nature I need to close the cabinet door before everything falls out. Keeps me on my toes (and the neighbor awake when pots and pans are constantly crashing upon opening the door)




Hygiene and cleanliness are extremely important in the kitchen. When working with raw ingredients especially ALWAYS be sure to wash your hands. It is vital to also cover your mouth when you accidentally inhale pepper in large quantities. Unfortunately I was a little forgetful with this and had to drop a Lysol bomb in the kitchen to ensure all cabinets and open surfaces were cleaned.



Exact measurements are vital to the success of the recipe. NEVER measure your food over the bowl you will be placing it in should an unfortunate accident occur and the food comes out in one massive clump and surpasses your mixing cup and goes right into the bowl.....not that I had that happen or anything.....Additionally it is really not effective to stir a mixture as thick as dumplings with a whisk.......We had a slight technical difficulty when the entire bowl of dumpling batter found it's way to the whisk and decided to hang out there for awhile.
I am also looking for some sort of conversion chart in regards to measurements. While it is humbling to admit this - math has never been a strong point for me and the dumpling recipe called for 2/3 cup mix and 3 TBSP milk to make four biscuits....well yours truly needed to make 20 dumplings and due to my lack of conversion knowledge literally spooned 2/3 cup mixture 5 times and then added 15 TBSP of milk.....


SIZE MATTERS!!!!! One thing I did take away from this recipe was dumplings expand like Sea Monkeys. I couldn't believe how something as small as that little spoonful of dumpling batter expanded in seconds and became this mammoth mound of dough. It reminded me of those little toys you had when you were kids and they started as a little pill and when you put them in water the expanded.....Seriously those dumplings morphed as if they had an injection of steroids in them.



Whew working hard......time for a break. It was about this time that I was also praying to God that I didn't look over and see the dumplings crawling over the side of the pan and taking my kitchen hostage.



THE FINAL PRODUCT! The dumplings did tone it down a little but they definitely still look like dumplings on steroids. Also, try not to be distracted by the zebra print pajama pants. As I mentioned in an earlier post - our budget is a little tight right now so I don't have any official "chef" apparel. Although for next Sunday's debacle I am sensing a Christmas Theme!!!
SURVEY SAYS...............Let's hear from our judges!
Please note that each of the judges has given their consent to post their thoughts. None of them are being paid to participate in this en devour since I sure as shit am not making anything off of this. Additionally they have not been threatened nor do they feel their safety is at risk should they provide less than stellar feedback. I can not comment on their safety from a food aspect as they have chosen to partake in this task with the knowledge that going into this my stove has been turned on twice in my life and both times it was to light a cigarette off of because I couldn't find a lighter. (that is a joke but I figure it gets the point across). They are currently in the process of approving their photo's and bio's so look for those later this week.
Tamara T
1) First three words that come to mind upon tasting: Total Comfort Food
2) Least favorite part? Maybe could use more veggies
3) Favorite part? Dumplings
4) How many stars would you give this (out of 5)? 4
5) Would you ever serve this exact dish to friends? Yes
6) Additional comments: Very good. I may be rating it really high because a) I was starving and b) comfort food is hits the spot on cold Monday mornings. However, this was really, really good. You did very well your first time out. Where are the brownies?
Jeff Swanner
1. 3 words to describe (positive or negative) – Creamy, Chickeny, Inside of a Chicken-Pot- Pie-y
2. Favorite part: Eating it?
3. Least favorite part: After eating it, the salty taste lingered
4. What would you do differently? A bit Less salt*** (or if the source of the salt was from a condensed soup, then evening it out with more cream/milk/whatever), some pepper and Tabasco5. How many stars (out of 5): 3.5
6. Additional comments…..Really good overall! Considering this is the first recipe in your cooking thingy I think it is great! You can go to most places around here that actually advertise their chicken & dumplings as their “house specialty” and find that they are no better than this recipe; and this is probably far healthier. I probably graded a bit harsh on this in the first place because historically I have never been the biggest fan of chicken & dumplings…seems like a bit of a weird concept: “Let’s take all the ingredients that make fried chicken awesome…separate them into different piles, then let them come to a slow boil in a pot of goo.”
*** although…I completely understand that when you are making a low-fat dish, salt is usually bumped up a bit to compensate for the lack of buttery fat goodness
Carlos 'Chewy' Salinas
1) First three words that come to mind upon tasting: Tasty, Tender, Satisfying
2) Least favorite part? More salt, dumplings need to be smaller and more stiff
3) Favorite part? Dumplings
4) How many stars would you give this (out of 5)? 3
5) Would you ever serve this exact dish to friends? Yes
6) Additional comments: I would consider adding bacon bits to the dumplings
Well folks....overall I think this recipe will be voted in to the Recipe Hall of Fame! Check back tonight on how the dessert turned out! That is all from Katia's Kitchen for now!















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