Lights - Camera - Morrocan Meat Balls!

Dish: Moroccan Meatballs
Recipe: http://www.cleaneatingmag.com/newsletter/december2009/#feature
Projected prep and cooking time: 75 minutes

Actual prep and cooking time: 120 minutes

Glasses of wine: 6 (during prep and cooking - who knows how many through out the whole night)
***I would like to call out that I believe the additional time needed for prep and cooking is DIRECTLY related to the amount of wine consumed.

This was a very emotional day for Katia's Kitchen. We had some laughs and also a few tragic losses.

Tragedies

1) I would like to give a tear full good bye to the carton of eggs that were lost during the creation of these meatballs. One minute they were there resting on the counter peaceful and content with their fate of joining the turkey meat and other spices in the mixing bowl. The pressure must have been too much for them or they decided they wanted to go out on their own terms because the next thing I know they managed to leap off of the counter and come to a crashing death on the floor of my kitchen. Two of the 5 in the carton survived and are in Intensive Care in the fruit drawer of my refrigerator. They just seem so lonely and withdrawn since the loss of their friends so I am thinking I may treat them to a spa day in a hot tub which will be in the form of a pot of boiling water on my stove to help them relax.

2) Additionally we had to say good bye to my $5 baking sheet from Walmart. Apparently parchment paper and wax paper are NOT the same thing as the wax paper I used instead of parchment took quite a liking to the baking sheet. It was love at 400 degrees because they became quite close during their 10 minutes in the oven of lovin and parting was just too sweet of sorrow. I hope they enjoy their new life together in the Dallas landfill.

3) Not sure this was considered a tragedy until the next morning when I had a bag of frozen peas and a bottle of Advil and a Gatorade next to me on the couch - but there are three bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka that left their mark in the form of a hangover the next morning. I thank them for serving their purpose that night but was cursing their name the next morning. Let's just say work was hard to get motivated for on Monday.

POSITIVES!

On a more positive note this week we had an actual LIVE AUDIENCE in attendance. A huge thanks to Ry dog, T Dub and Tamara for taking part in this session. I would also like to publicly extend apologies for a few things. Things got a little hostile in Katia's Kitchen this week and my PR person has advised it is best for my image to publicly apologize whether I think I was in the wrong or not.

Tamara: I apologize for banning you from entering the kitchen for a majority of the actual cooking. It was like Stacy and Clinton from "What Not to Wear" going through Roseann Barr's closet. You know the feedback they are giving is 100% accurate and they are trying to help - but I value our friendship too much to put your safety in jeopardy and that is why I asked you to exit the kitchen.

T-Dub: You did an excellent job for your first time photographing Katia in action. Please know that my yelling and demanding attitude was simply for your best interest in an effort to make you better. My goal is to not just encourage people in cooking but also serve as a mentor and motivational figure so we will just call that "tough love".

Anyways, talk about pressure! I have realized there are both pros and cons to having the judges on set while the cooking is taking place.

Here are just a few examples of how a live audience can effect Katia's performance.

1) It can be slightly distracting

While I admire my audience's health conscience attitude in wanting to get a good work out in prior to eating - it was hard to focus on the meat and eggs while "sweating to the oldie's - the X Rated Version" was taking place in my living room. Look for T Dub and R dogs video in the next few months (featuring Tiger Woods).

2) It is impossible to get even a short break in without getting caught.

*Kids please note this cigarette was just a prop and was never actually lit or smoked.

HOWEVER, the biggest difference I found with a live audience is what sticklers they were for cleanliness. I mean come on - there is a reason that most restaurant kitchen's are not visible to guests. There are things that sometimes happen behind the scenes that may 'freak' out the guests should they know what was truly going on. We used to eat dirt and worms as kids for gods sake.....So this week I would like to have a tribute to cleanliness in the kitchen with Katia's tips for a Clean and Sanitary Kitchen.

KATIA's Klean Kitchen Pointers

1) Always be sure your hair is properly tied back away from the food.

How many times have you gone into a restaurant and found a hair in your food and been totally grossed out? Although I guess the difference with this situation is that they aren't paying for the food so it's not like they can ask to be comped or send it back.......

2) The 5 second rule is your friend.

People have been using this as a parameter for eating something when it falls on the ground for years and I have NEVER read an article that someone died from it. I can just see it now - Yesterday a Wisconsin man died after eating a cheese curd that had fallen on his kitchen floor. When his wife was interviewed she tearfully stated that if only he had been one second faster he would still be with us today. "The cheese was on the floor for 6 seconds. I know it was that one extra second that did him in. Had he only picked it up one second earlier......The 5 second rule could have saved his life".

So just remember that 5 seconds or less is fine but anything after 5 seconds shouldn't be used. Well, unless what you dropped is going into something that has boiling water because then the water will kill the germs. This rule also applies to kitchen utensils. No point in wasting water washing off a utensil when not needed! (this is my plug for Going Green and how Katia is trying to save the planet)

One important thing to remember with the 5 second rule is that anything in the garbage you are trying to find that you may have accidently thrown out can only be used if it was wrapped prior to being thrown away. That is just gross to eat something from the garbage that may have touched something else while in the can.

3) Continuing the whole going green thing....

It is important to know when washing your hands is necessary and is not. In my last update I discussed how important it is to wash your hands when handling raw meat. This is important because as the cook you could get sick from raw meat. However, human saliva is not nearly as fatal as raw chicken - so no need to waste water washing your hands when the only germs on your hands are coming from your mouth. I guess there is the chance of giving someone mono - but I would think anyone who got that from food would be thanking the cook not getting upset. Who doesn't want a few months off from work where doctors orders is to lay around and take it easy?

4) Penicillin can't cure everything - wash your veggies!

Unless you want to risk your unborn children having 6 fingers or three ears I would advise always washing your fruits and vegetables before using them -even those people who claim "buying organic puts you at less risk" from pesticides etc....... The only difference between organic vegetables and "regular" vegetables is that not washing an organic tomato guarantee's you an environmentally friendly child with a missing toe.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!!

I would like to extend a huge thank you to our sponsors for this week. Currently they are not providing any sort of donation monetarily and probably would be pissed to see their product is even on site of this caliber. Also, I am currently accepting applications for anyone who would like to advertise their business on my apron.

-Bella Sera, Robert Mondavi, Fox Run and Monopolowva thank you for the great times that night and a big middle finger to the havoc you caused the next morning.

- Imodium you truly are the best morning after pill ever. The phrase "that is one spicy meatball" is no bullshit.

Well that concludes this update from Katia's Kitchen. Check back tonight for the judges feedback and photos from the actual creation and consumption of the Moroccan Meatballs and Peanut Butter Cream cheese brownies!